the facebook status updates.

Thought i should let everyone else in on whats been happening but dont really have the patience to sit through writing another blog. And then i had the brilliant idea to just cut and paste my facebook status updates. they explain most of whats been happening the last week or so. Its been crazy, but i'll let to posts explain:

April 18
"has been attacked by an angry male turkey while on the back of a moto, seen a giant dog magically appear from a garbage bin smaller than the dog AND been told off for not eating the spinal cord floating in his soup. And that was just this morning"

April 24
"has had the most adventurous two days ever. He's raced the monsoon to the vietnamese border twice (won once, lost the other), walked up a river made of road (the moto couldnt ride with me dragging it down), nearly been arrested by Cambodian border guards for being an illegal alien, hitched a ride sitting next to the engine of a homemade truck transporting illegally logged lumber, Been given food and drink and a smack around the back of the head by a toothless Vietnamese lady (got me in trouble for having my wallet where it could be pickpocketed), had a stranger stop me on the street and give me Laotian money for apparently no reason, had to rescue one of my thongs from the quicksand at the bottom of a puddle infested by leeches (scariest shit ever), been the only westerner in a city of 150,000 people and walked around with a million dong in my pocket. Might take a while to top these last 2 days"

"i did forget the part about trying to bribe people with a busted camera, among other things. more because its written into certain contracts for certain NGOs that we work for that we wont bribe people."

April 25

"[My] last 24 hours may have topped the 48 before that. Had lunch paid for by a Cambodian drug runner and his Vietnamese brothel owner friend, nearly been kicked off a bus because i couldnt understand what the driver was asking me, fallen asleep outside a travel agent at 3 am, been taken in by two Viet Kong veterans (who now sells rice wine with giant cobras pickling in it, as well as illegal dead wildlife), and finally booked a flight to Hanoi. should be there in 6 hours! I also remembered that on my last day in camp i was given a package of 'medicine' with a red and white umbrella and 'the umbrella corporation' written on the front. inside were little yellow tablets with 'modern' stamped on them. needless to say i didnt take too long to ditch them. life imitating videogames anyone?"

Forgot about the 6 or 7 Vietnamese army supervisors that glared at me when i couldn't stop staring enviously at their pith helmets

And thats the week so far. I'm pretty sure more crazy things are going to happen in Hanoi when I get there this afternoon.

Edit: Oh! i forgot to mention the moto driver i had back in cambodia that had a full black acid wash denim outfit. except for this neon pink trucker cab with a gold glitter rim. he was awesome